Melancholy

Technically, I could afford to buy any lolita dress or item that I want. So why do I agonize over things I want but refuse to buy them?

I went through a period of my life of having little to no income and no savings. It forever left an impression on me. Now, I compulsively save a high percentage of my income even though my future (and current) prospects are positive.

Recently, the Milky-Chan the Fawn Bag came up for auction. It went for 501 AUD. That's around 450 CAD.

This morning an auction for the Whimsical Vanilla-Chan ring and necklace ended at almost 300 CAD on Yahoo! Auctions Japan.

I 100% could have afforded to win both of these auctions, but I can't bring myself to spend this amount. I feel I can't justify it, but then here I am moping around. Both these auctions started at reasonable prices, so this situation isn't the result of scalpers. What something is worth depends on what people are willing to pay for it. So where does that leave me? Melancholic with all this money that doesn't bring me happiness (because it would never be enough), apparently. It's ridiculous.

Something I've been thinking about is how Honey Cake was re-released but such releases as Vanilla-Chan and Milky-Chan have not been re-released. Would there be an interest in a re-release? Milky-Chan and Vanilla-Chan dresses go up for sale frequently, but they're often not in great condition due to their age and I expect their prices reflect this. Milky-Chan jewelry doesn't perform above average in terms of price, it's generally at what you'd expect for most AP second hand jewelry that's not from a highly sought after release (there are outliers).
When it comes to Vanilla-Chan, it's a bit more difficult. LaceMarket only has history of two listings for the Vanilla-Chan ring, and two for the bracelet. Again, they are listed at comparable prices to Milky-Chan. I own the Vanilla-Chan bracelet which I believe I paid 100 USD for, which I would argue as being slightly expensive compared to non-sought after pieces. It seems Vanilla-Chan jewelry is significantly rare, even though it was released a year after Milky-Chan (which goes up for sale very frequently). Those listings I mentioned above are from 2016 and 2015. Could it be that the Vanilla-Chan jewelry is less frequently up for sale because it's more versatile than Milky-Chan? Think of all the prints with white cats on them.
As for the Milky-Chan bag there seems to be some variation in listing prices, but I would say the overall trend is for an increase in price.
When I see prices like these, I think about the possibility of a MTO/re-release.

Mushrump Shoes

Irregular Choice Shroomy boots 

 Look at these shoes! I wish I had some reason to wear them.

The other day I saw this TikTok account with 'Cottage Core Check'. It had the music from the intro of 'Over the Garden Wall' (which is a very good cartoon btw). The aesthetic was so nice. Her username is @sorablu. Mushrooms, chickens, forest stuff. Ahh.
I wonder if I will ever get to accomplish my dream to live in the forest.

2019 In Review

I was looking around here and realized I'd written a 2018 review and so I should probably consider writing a 2019 review too.

It's difficult to write with a lot of enthusiasm because I am dealing with emotional difficulties. I've faced a lot of death in the past few years and now everything is tinted. It's like it's been slowing building up. My perception of reality has changed. The state of my life is good though, quite good. I currently do not have any great difficulties although uncertainty of the future follows me around.

Last year, I wrote that I should like 2019 to be a sort of feeler year but it seems I am left with more questions than answers.

Anyway~

Let's see some pictures from my 2019:

Going through my photos makes me realize I did a whole lot of stuff.

So what do I hope for 2020? I hope that it will go smoothly and that I will be able to transition easily to my future home. I'm moving to a new city farther than I'd like from my family. I'll be gone for at least two years. I hope I can begin to accomplish my dreams. I also hope I can continue discovering my inner artist.

The Wardrobe Post 2020

It's time for the wardrobe post. This year I did not pay a lot of attention to detail in these. The morning of New Years Day was nice and sunny so I photographed as much as I could without too much fussing.

Dresses

Left: Sheep Garden OP (Angelic Pretty)
Right: Dessert OP 2010 version (BTSSB)

Left: Unbirthday OP (Angelic Pretty)
Right: Millefueille JSK (BTSSB)

Left: Wonder Memories OP (Angelic Pretty)
Right: Jenny's Cookies JSK + collar + blouse (Infanta)

Left: Marie Rose Op (Innocent World)
Right: Delft Lotta JSK short version (Innocent World)

Left: Rabbit Note Duet JSK (Bodyline)
Right: Alice and Bambi JSK (BTSSB)

Left: Forest Harvest Festival JSK (Innocent World)
Right: Bambi underbust JSK (Innocent World)

Left: Seraffi JSK (BTSSB)
Right: Floret Satin Frill JSK (Innocent World)

Left: Classical Fairy Tales OP (Angelic Pretty)
Right: Berry River JSK (Yolanda)

Left: Happy Garden JSK (Angelic Pretty)
Right: Milky-Chan of the Fawn OP (Angelic Pretty)

Left: Whimsical Vanilla-Chan OP (Angelic Pretty)
Right: Vanilla-Chan JSK (Angelic Pretty)

Left: Lace Frill JSK (BTSSB)
Right: Scalloped Polka Dot Double Lace Up OP (Bodyline)

Left: Maria Antonio OP (BTSSB)
Right: OP with Apron (BTSSB)

Left: Halloween Alice underbust JSK (BTSSB)
Right: Tartan Check Hem Scallop JSK (BTSSB)

Skirts

Left: Princess Skirt (Bodyline)
Centre: Gingham Check Triple Tiered Skirt (BTSSB)
Right: Stripe Skirt with Polka Dot Ribbon

Left: Sugar Dream Dome skirt (Angelic Pretty)
Right:  Polka Dot Milky-Chan Applique skirt (Angelic Pretty)

Left: Fancy Box skirt (Angelic Pretty)
Right: Toy Fantasy skirt (Angelic Pretty)

Left: Chelsea Skirt (Innocent World)
Right: Musicians of the Forest Skirt (Innocent World)

Left: Rose Stripe Bustle Skirt (Bodyline)
Right: Bouquet High Waist Skirt (Bodyline)

Blouses/Cutsews

Top Row (from left): Bodyline, BTSSB, BTSSB, Bodyline
Bottom Row (from left): Bodyline, Infanta, Angelic Pretty

Top Row (from left): Rose Lace Tulle Blouse (Beth Victorian Maiden), Innocent World, Innocent World
Bottom Row (from left): Innocent World, Innocent World

Left: BTSSB
Right: Alice and the Pirates

Bodyline

Left: Angelic Pretty Paris Anniversary Cutsew
Centre: Toy Fantasy Print Parka (Angelic Pretty)

Cardigans and Boleros

Outerwear

Left: Lace Pipping Ribbon Peplum Jacket (Bodyline)
Centre: Royal Ribbon Jacket (Angelic Pretty)
Right: Tartan Check Jacket (BTSSB)

Left: BTSSB x Disney Red & Black Alice Cape
Centre: Jewelry Girl Coat (Angelic Pretty)
Right: L550 (Bodyline)

Hats

Top: Cutie Creator
Bottom Left: Charlotte Ribbon Straw Hat (BTSSB)
Bottom Right: Strawberry Parlour Straw Hat (Angelic Pretty)

Top left: Fur Ushanka Hat with Ribbon (Innocent World)
Top Right: Logo Ribbon Beret (Innocent World)
Centre: Rosy Ribbon Beret (Angelic Pretty)
Bottom left: Colette Fur Beret (BTSSB)
Bottom right: Ribbon Beret (BTSSB)

Bags

Top (from left):Jewelry Shoulder Bag (Angelic Pretty), Strawberry-chan Pochette (Angelic Pretty),  Ribbon Heart Bag (BTSSB), Polka Dot Ribbon Round Pochette (Angelic Pretty), Ribbon Basket Bag(BTSSB)
Bottom (from left): Osanpo Lamb-chan Bag (Angelic Pretty), Ribbon Frill Bag (Innocent World), Happy Square Shoulder Bag (Angelic Pretty), Usakumya Backpack (BTSSB)

Hair Accessories

Handmade, offbrand, BTSSB, Innocent World, Angelic Pretty

Accessories

Angelic Pretty, Innocent World

That's it for now~ I didn't include shoes or bloomers. Perhaps I'll add a photo of my shoes to this post later on. I am thinking very hard about scaling back my wardrobe. 

This photo is my ultimate inspiration !!